


Cobalt

by CarburetorCastiel



Series: Spectrum Love [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky has a fear of storms, Domestic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Gift Fic, M/M, Mental Health Issues, One Shot, Parents, Post-Canon, Protective Steve Rogers, Storms, Therapy Dog, day in the life, fear of storms, partial amnesia bucky, ptsd bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-26 21:38:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13866519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarburetorCastiel/pseuds/CarburetorCastiel
Summary: Bucky has a horrible, debilitating fear of storms and Steve is, and has been, the only one who can help. He hates seeing Bucky like this so he is always quick to try to fix it and hold him through the storms.





	Cobalt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zacharypay1_Alisa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zacharypay1_Alisa/gifts).



> This is definitely partially a self-satisfied story. I have a fear of storms and I wanted this so... here this is.
> 
> This is dedicated to Alisa for being an amazing support on my long fic. You are so lovely and I am grateful for your comments and love!
> 
> (Notice: The pictures are smaller to help the flow on mobile reading. Please click the links below to see the aesthetic board better.)
> 
> [Aesthetic Link](https://78.media.tumblr.com/9b250665c85b7926a84b01b9c3d01c7f/tumblr_inline_pdkmdzHk7E1rjbhtz_540.jpg)
> 
> [Color Code](https://78.media.tumblr.com/a9b5b19aa004da107c06f0213d39ed2f/tumblr_inline_pdkmd97Wfa1rjbhtz_540.jpg)

\---

It was one of the worst thunderstorms they had seen in a while. Power was out across the city and everyone was advised to stay where they were and to not go outdoors. There were no taxis out on the roads and all the buses canceled their schedules. Anyone who could get into basements or lower-level hideouts were doing so. All schools had already sent kids home early and most shops had locked their doors for the day.

 

Steve had been in a meeting when he noticed the clouds start to roll in. He checked the time. He had about another half hour before he was allowed to leave. When he looked at his phone, he found a screensaver of Bucky sleeping with Charlie nestled in his arms. It was one of his favorite pictures he had ever taken. It had been a calm warm late summer afternoon and Bucky was too hot to have a shirt on and Charlie only stopped fussing once he was being held.

 

Steve sighed and unlocked his phone to check the radar. It was all yellow and red with small patches of green. The storm was just going to get worse and worse. And he needed to get home. He needed to be with his family. He didn’t care if he was supposed to stay for another half an hour. Bucky was going to need him and the kids were probably already getting scared.

 

Simply getting up and pulling on his coat, Steve interrupted quickly, “I’m sorry. I have to go to my family. I’ll have someone fill me in on what I missed later. I’m sorry, guys.” He nodded to them all and patted Sam on the back as he walked out the room and down the stairs. He made it out to the sidewalk and decided the wind and rain were far too strong for him to attempt to use an umbrella. He would just have to brave it all to get back home.

 

It took Steve almost forty minutes to make a trip that would have been ten minutes on a sunny day. But finally, he was home. He was soaked to the bone and he fumbled with his keys at the door until he was able to barge into the house. He had to push the door back against the wind but he eventually got it closed and locked.

 

“Bucky?” he called out as he stripped off his coat. There was no answer. Steve quickly got his shoes and socks off and then grabbed a towel from the kitchen to dry off his face and hair. He was toweling off his neck as he walked through the hall to the dining area.

 

Steve found tons of blankets draped over their dining room table and falling off around all sides of it like a tent. “Buck? You guys in there?” he asked and lifted up the blankets to find nothing underneath but a few of Sarah’s toys. It must have been her play fort earlier. He moved on to Sarah’s room and then the nursery but his family wasn’t there either. Bucky’s usual hiding place when he got scared was the closest in his and Steve’s room. But Steve had hoped Bucky didn’t drag everyone in there. It was too small for more than just Bucky.

 

However, when Steve opened the door to the closet, there was his husband. Bucky gasped. Steve was finally home. “Steve!” he yelped with a heavy, scared voice. He was clinging on to Charlie who was staring at him with big eyes and sucking on a pacifier. Sarah was in his lap holding Puppy and crying her eyes out. And Ruckus was pressed up against Bucky’s leg and licking his arm gently. Bucky’s own face was drenched in tears and his body was shaking. Steve got down on his knees next to them and Bucky choked on a sob, reaching out for him.

 

“Oh, Baby,” Steve said quietly and crawled into the closet as best as he could and wrapped himself around his family. It was a tight fit and the door wasn’t going to close but he knew this was what Bucky needed. “How long have you all been like this?”

 

Bucky shook his head and held Charlie a little closer. “The whole time,” he admitted. “We saw the clouds and I hoped it would be okay but it got worse and then it wasn’t okay, Steve. It wasn’t okay.” He could barely get comprehensible words out through his shuttering breath and tears. He was terrified of storms. He always had been. It was bad back before the war but at least Steve was really good at comforting him. Then it got worse during active duty and Steve wasn’t there to help him for a while. But it was damn near impossible to handle while he was with Hydra. They could program him all they wanted but there wasn’t any way they could program out his fear of storms. Entire mission’s for the Winter Soldier could be compromised because they sent him out in a thunderstorm and he had a breakdown.

 

Now that he was back with Steve, he finally had someone to help him again. And no one had ever been able to calm Bucky down in a storm but Steve. “Okay, Baby, okay,” Steve said softly and brushed Bucky’s hair from his wet cheeks. “I’m here, Buck. I’ve got you.” He leaned in and gave his kids and his husband each a kiss and a hopeful smile so maybe they would see his strength and not be as worried.

 

“When is it over, Papa?” Sarah asked as she tugged on Steve’s sopping wet shirt. “It’s too loud.” Sarah’s fear of storms only really stemmed from Bucky’s. Meaning, if she wasn’t around Bucky when it started to storm, she didn’t even say anything. Sometimes she would complain about the thunder or rain being too loud or the lightning being too bright that she couldn’t sleep. But it was only complaints out of annoyance. But she was highly suggestible whenever Bucky started to get worked up over it. He would cry; she would cry. He would shake; she would shake. He would cling to Steve desperately, and she would sit right in their laps and press her face to Steve’s stomach for comfort.

 

Steve pet his daughter’s hair and said, “I think it could be a little longer, Sweetheart.” He looked into Bucky’s wide eyes and brought him in to give him another gentle, caring kiss. “Bucky, Baby, I need to get you guys a blanket. Okay? I’m just going to get up for a few seconds.”

 

“N-no, Steve,” Bucky tried, quickly snatching his hand on Steve’s upper arm with a harsh grip. He never thought rationally when he was afraid. Everything was always blown out of proportion and he was always stressed about every tiny thing. In his mind, Steve getting up to get a blanket for ten seconds could result in terrible things happening. He wasn’t sure what kind of terrible things but he just felt an overwhelming sense of dread and doom whenever he got in these states of extreme terror.

 

Steve wasn’t yet sure if he could call them panic attacks. He hadn’t had a psychiatrist or someone professional experience this with them yet. He wanted to soon so he could maybe get advice on how to better take care of his husband. Bucky’s therapist was aware that he had these issues with storms but she hadn’t been with him during one yet. Steve just figured it had to be something like that. And if he could understand why Bucky fell into such a debilitating incident every time, he could maybe improve on how they got through them or try to find coping tactics to stop them before they even began. He would do anything to help his family. Steve hated seeing his sweet, strong man so upset.

 

“Just a few seconds, Buck,” Steve tried again. “I promise I will come right back. Let me get a blanket for you, Baby.” He waited a couple moments as Bucky thought, but, finally, his arm was released and he hurriedly popped up from the ground. As he headed to the door, he stripped off his shirt and dropped it. Next, he undid his belt and yanked off his jeans that were far too heavy with water. He was freezing in his clothes and figured it would be better to try to dry out wearing only cold, wet boxer briefs than to keep all the cold, wet clothes on.

 

Bucky watched Steve undress and got a little mad that Steve hadn’t mentioned that was part of the plan too. He said it would just take a few seconds to grab a blanket and then he would be back. But at least ten seconds went by just taking off the shirt and he was still not right back next to Bucky. “Steve!” he yipped in a higher voice than normal. “Please!”

 

Steve grabbed two blankets from the basket they kept in their room and brought them over. He quickly draped one around Bucky and the kids and pulled it in close. “I know, Baby, I’m sorry,” he apologized and touched Bucky’s forehead softly before wrapping himself in the second blanket. “It was longer than a few seconds. I’m sorry, Bucky. But I’m here now.” He squished himself to his family and gave Sarah a reassuring nod. Steve was sorry but he also knew that if he had told Bucky that it would have been more like thirty seconds, Bucky wouldn’t have let him get up. Bucky’s rationality, logic, and solid judgment were always thrown out the window at times like this. Steve was used to that. He wasn’t offended or annoyed. He knew how to be there for his husband.

 

Sarah was much calmer now and she had stopped crying altogether. She seemed to have forgotten her worries once her papa had come home. And Charlie wasn’t afraid of storms at all it seemed. He was usually just upset when others were being frantic around him. But he was still looking up at Steve with those big eyes but he was cool as a cucumber otherwise. He even cracked a little smile around his pacifier when Steve came back with the blankets. And Steve was grateful. If his kids were both relaxed now, that meant he could focus more on Bucky. “Bucky, Honey, this storm could be long,” Steve said tentatively. “The kids will need to get to sleep soon. And it might be better if you and I ride out this storm in our bed where it’s much cozier. The closet isn’t very comfortable.” He was trying his best to reason through this but he knew it was only falling on uncooperative ears at the moment.

 

His suspicions were confirmed when Bucky mumbled, “It’s safer here.” He wiggled a little in the cramped space and there was a whine from Ruckus who was just trying his best to be a peaceful presence for Bucky with so many other things going on. Puppy had also completely fallen asleep in Sarah’s arms and was making little grunts every so often.

 

“I don’t agree,” Steve countered. “I think it is just as safe on the bed.” He had done this before too. They liked to hide in small places. They both did. It was just something about open areas that made both of them feel very vulnerable. Several people liked to say that it was because they were soldiers and open areas to a soldier meant they were easily spotted and had nowhere to take cover. Someone else suggested to Steve that it was because he used to be so tiny that going in smaller spaces now made him feel like that again and that was less intimidating to deal with. Whatever the reason, it was their preferred method of seeking shelter. But Steve really needed Bucky to get out of the tiny closet tonight.

 

He looked around for something to help but didn’t see anything. Occasionally, he could tempt Bucky out with food but that didn’t seem possible at the moment because he would have to get up and get something and there was no way Bucky would allow that right now. “Hey, Baby. Let me at least get the kids to sleep? Please? They will be able to sleep through the storm if I get them to bed right now. Charlie won’t mind at all and Sarah already looks pretty tired. Come on, Love, your babies need to rest.”

 

Bucky tried again to hold Steve in place but the only particles of rational thinking he had left understood that their kids were the first priority and they needed to sleep. The storm was still raging on but if the kids could rest through it, that would be much better than keeping them up too long and having two cranky children the next day. So he nodded and slowly let go of Steve’s arm and handed Charlie to him.

 

“Thank you,” Steve said calmly and dropped his blanket from his shoulders so he could better hold Charlie. “Come on, Sarah, Sweetie, let’s get to bed.” He held out his hand for her and led them both out of the bedroom. It didn’t take more than a few minutes for Steve to have both kids in their beds and ready to fall asleep. Charlie passed out just about the second he got in his crib and Sarah curled around a pile of plush animals and said goodnight to her papa.

 

When Steve got back to Bucky, he was pressed further into the corner of the closet with Ruckus in his lap and Puppy, now awake, running in and out of the closet worriedly. “Hey, Bucky,” Steve said and picked up Puppy who had gotten so good at scampering around with her three legs. “Let’s get you in bed, huh?”

 

Bucky immediately protested. He shook his head and shied away from Steve. “It’s safer here, Steve,” he said again. “We can wait here.” They had done this dance countless times before. Bucky was usually easily convinced by Steve to do just about anything. But when it came to this, he was stubborn. But Steve was stubborn, too, and usually about most things.

 

Steve stood up again and told Bucky he would be right back. He took Puppy to her area in the laundry room where they had a bed and water and toys for her. It was blocked off by a baby gate so she could go sleep in there while everyone else was asleep and Steve didn’t have to worry about her running amuck in the house. She whined a little when she was put down but Steve gave her a treat and then went back to his husband.

 

Bucky shook his head when he saw Steve again because he knew Steve was going to pick him up. If it came down to it like this, Steve’s last resort was to lift him and put him in bed anyway. “No,” Bucky protested as Steve tucked his arms around his back and under his legs. “No, Steve.”

 

“We’ve done this before, Baby,” Steve answered as he hoisted him up and held him tightly against his chest. “You know I’ve got you. You know I will keep you safe. Breath with me, please.” He walked Bucky to their bed as he squirmed in his grasp and then gently deposited him on his side of the bed and pulled the blankets over him. Ruckus jumped up too and laid down along Bucky’s legs to keep him tucked in. “There we go, Baby,” Steve sighed in relief.

 

Steve pulled the blankets back just enough so he could lift Bucky’s shirt off of him and tug on his pajama shirt. He did the same with Bucky’s jeans and eventually got him settled in cozier clothes with layers of heavy blankets over him. That always calmed Bucky down little by little. The tight comfort of all the blankets was usually a better method of coping than hiding in small places, but Bucky didn’t get that. Steve leaned over him and kissed his cheek before sliding into bed behind Bucky and cradling him as the big spoon, arms wrapped around his husband. “I’m here, Bucky. I’ve got you now.”

 

“Steve…” Bucky sighed and pressed back against him. He was already getting a better grip on his senses and he definitely felt safer now that Steve was around him and holding him together. “When will it be over?” he asked, sounding very much like their daughter when she worriedly asked the same question.

 

Steve kissed Bucky’s neck again and then his hair and his shoulder. “I think it might be a while still. Maybe another hour, Baby,” he said solemnly but didn’t let up his hold on Bucky. “It’s okay, though. We are here together and we are safe. The kids are safe, the dogs are safe. Everything is okay.” He hummed softly in Bucky’s ear and rubbed a soothing circle on his stomach. “Breathe with me, please.”

 

Bucky was much more aware and focused now. He paid attention to the touches Steve was giving him and he started to count in his head as he breathed in – one, two, three, four – and then breathed out – one, two, three, four – over and over. He kept counting, a few times whispering a number instead of thinking it. He kept that up for about two minutes until his nerves were all but gone. He was still scared but he wasn’t in such a panicked state anymore. The sounds, lights, and rumbles of the storm were still troubling to him but he was able to roll over in bed and squish against Steve, face in the crook of his neck and arms around him. This way he could hide his eyes from the lightning and he could try to cover his ears from the sounds.

 

“That’s it, Baby,” Steve praised gently and pulled the blankets over Bucky entirely so all that was sticking out the top was Steve’s head. He liked to cocoon Bucky so the noises were deafened as much as possible. “You’re safe now, Buck,” he assured him and rocked them just a little back and forth. He could feel Bucky’s breathing getting slower and deeper against his neck and he knew he was falling asleep. Bucky had worked himself up so much that, now that he was coming down from it, he was too exhausted to keep himself awake any longer. Steve breathed with Bucky and hummed quietly some more until he felt Bucky’s arms loosen and his head fell away from him a little bit. Steve smiled in relief and let his own eyes close now. Bucky was finally asleep.

\---


End file.
